Dating a widowed man with kids
Before we judge this-we do not know the circumstances-had she been sick for many years? Of course, for the children, those circumstances have little or no bearing on their own grief process.
Whether a parent was sick for years or was in a horrific marriage doesn’t enter the adult child’s grief process at all.
We do know that the couple are dating for two years and despite the entire family being on board with the relationship, one adult married child is firmly holding out- seemingly asking his father to “choose” either a relationship with a significant other or with himself.
Perhaps there are other issues here that are being defined as “ready”-sometimes adult children worry about their parent’s finances/ their inheritance or are threatened that the new person will ”take away” the surviving parent’s affection and attention, especially if the new partner has children of her own.
The father needs to be clear with his grieving children that the mother’s memory will always be honored and she is not being “erased.” In Marianne’s case -we don’t know how long the mother has been deceased.I have expressed how hurt this makes me feel to my partner. Should my partner continue to keep me from attending his family events where everyone else will be present at, just because one of his married children ‘isn’t ready yet”?Another family event is coming up soon, and I have already been told by my partner that he will not ruin his relationship with his adult married child. I understood this better a year ago as I had not met everyone yet at that time, but now one year later and I have met everyone, and they have been more than accepting of us together as a couple. I feel he is not being sensitive to my feelings regarding this. Thank you What stands out here is the emphasis on the word “ready”.Perhaps, it simply means that they have had enough change right now and aren’t ‘ready’ for more.Being “ready” can mean any or all of the above or something very different; in Bab’s situation, the time passed since the death and the father’s subsequent relationship have not been very long. All of these things can contribute to how long a widower decides he needs to grieve before he dates again.
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’ ” Then we need to listen to their fears and concerns without judgment or criticism.