Dating someone while separated
Triangles are stable when all three legs are connected.What that means in a three-way relationship is that each day is securely connected.Over time, and especially if they’ve been in disappointing other relationships, they miss each other again and valiantly try to “make it work.” If they don’t see those patterns and correct them, that process will occur until they either wear each other out or find someone they’d rather invest in.Committed partners who still care deeply for one another, on the other hand, often separate because of external stress, worn-out interactions, infidelities, or a slow drift-apart that neither realized could have ended up in a separation.
These attachments can bring people back together after a separation in ways that new relationships are less likely to do. If one or both partners in a relationship have drifted too far apart to repair the loss, that separated man may be soured against getting involved long-term again or authentically seeking a new long-term relationship.This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.A partner who may have understood a one-night stand that is immediately confessed is less likely to feel as humiliated as one who finds out much later or when a relationship is more established.She will likely assume that person was there from the beginning and the reason for the break-up if her partner asked for the separation.
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The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship.