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We don’t always have to be jumping careers and slaving away in kitchens or networking or coming up with ideas.
First, for commitment-phobes, it can feel safer to keep a distance, especially if they’ve been hurt, betrayed or suffered a great loss.
The secondary gain of staying single (for them) is avoiding these fears.
Therefore, they may unconsciously prefer unrequited love to the vulnerable, soul-stretching work of emotional intimacy.
Finally, when we started getting too close and the relationship got too intense, he ran away from me.
How do you let go of your attraction to commitment-phobic people?
If your heart is blocked, eventually you have a heart attack and die. – DOUBTS about myself or too much worry about what people will think of me.
The only periods where I haven’t been obsessed with something is when I’ve had a BLOCKAGE in my life.
She was on track to make tens of millions of dollars? Maybe when the kids are older.” And how do we know what’s even calling us, what obsesses us? Be grateful that you even realize there is an interesting decision to be made here. If the worst-case is really awful then get creative and start listing all the possible jumps. I got right to the heart of the matter: “Are you making more money now? “No,” she said, “Not even close.” She was a bond analyst at Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs working sixty hour weeks. Judy went back as a student, worked her way up through various kitchens, networked everywhere she could for media contacts, started restaurants while juggling media appearances once she got bits and pieces of media. I admire Judy from leaving her position near the top of one industry and jumping to the bottom of another. The other day I spoke with Judy Joo, who went from being a high-paid Wall Street analyst to a low-paid chef. She’s the executive chef at the Playboy Club in London and she’s an Iron Chef on several of the Iron Chef TV shows around the world. She became a student at the French Culinary Institute in NY. But other people liking me will never make me better. And I’m only going to do my best on something I love. Else I end up worrying about things that will not make me my best. I always know that I need to exercise my idea muscle, for instance, and it doesn’t take much time (just write ten random ideas a day down) but sometimes I would get lazy. You think that you can skip to the top so you deny the work that goes into really learning the subtleties of whatever it is you are passionate about. Also, they may resist commitment if they’ve had an abusive, critical or controlling parent who invaded their boundaries or smothered them.Or they may fear losing themselves in a relationship with a partner who would require too much attention without their own needs being met.